Defining Moment
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: James reflects on the moment he got his Head Boy Badge. Brief mentions of JamesLily.


**Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise. **

**Defining Moment**

The last Hogwarts letter I ever received was a defining moment in my life. The smile on my parent's face when they saw the Head Boy badge fall out will never leave me, the pride shining from their eyes will forever be ingrained in my mind. They died, two weeks later in a Death Eater attack in Diagon Alley. They had only been there for ten minutes when the masked murderers arrived, and within seconds, their lives had been snuffed out.

That summer I had to grow up, fast. There would be no more acting the fool. I would return to school for my last year, the way I knew my parents would want me too. After that, I would make it my life's purpose to hunt down the monsters who destroyed my parents and countless other lives on a misguided mission to 'purify the world.'

The badge, the head boy badge that I never really wanted, was a part of that maturing. When Moony got the Prefect badge in our fifth year, we took the mickey out of him. I could never understand the pride with which he wore it, could never understand why it was so important to know that the teachers had faith in him. Now I can understand.

Evans was mightily annoyed that I would be sharing the responsibility with her. When she saw me in the carriage waiting for her, I thought steam would start pouring from her ears she looked so mad. Another part of maturity came when I decided to stop chasing her. Of course, I still loved her, I always will, but i finally understood that embarrassing her every other day with yet another stupid declaration of love would not win her over.

Sirius was surprised at the change, but he accepted it, and I loved him for that. As much as we are very much a foursome of friends, Sirius will always be my most trusted, my closest friend. I know he would never betray me, would never do anything to hurt me, and he knows I would never betray him. He's my brother, regardless of DNA or name.

Our last year at Hogwarts was hard, and breakfast quickly became the worst time of the day. The Prophet came bearing terrible news of more death and destruction, all done in the name of the monster that had killed my parents. Recognisable names would jump out at us daily, students running out of the hall as they read about their parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, all being killed in the name of Voldemort.

I refuse to be scared of the monster. I will not use You Know Who, or any other stupid name other people have taken to calling him. I will not call him Lord. He has no right to demand that of anyone, there is nothing royal about him. He is nothing but a murderer. Nothing.

I threw myself into studies and head boy duties, determined to be accepted into the Aurors. I would train and learn to deal with the parasites that blighted our would. I would make my parent's proud.

Lily noticed me during that year, mostly I think because I kept my head down and stopped pestering her. I stopped fighting with Snape, we stopped with the majority of our pranks, though of course, we didn't stop completely. She started to talk to me after meetings, would stop in the corridor to chat and even began sitting with me in the common room.

I asked her to Hogsmead for the second visit and she accepted. I was so nervous. The masked murderers decided to ruin that for me too. They appeared in the middle of town, wands already shooting spells at anyone and everyone in sight. Some fought back, myself and Lily included, but we were overpowered both in numbers and power. As green light shot at Lily, I pushed her out of the way, missing the killing curse myself by inches. In the hospital wing afterwards, I kissed her tears away and told her everything would be okay. We both knew I was lying, but I think she appreciated it anyway.

That year at Hogwarts was the worst and the best, but in a way, I wouldn't change it for the world. Life is full of defining moments, for everyone, and my last year at school was full of them. As I stand in my graduation outfit in front of the mirror, a small smile sets itself on my face. The engagement ring in my pocket presses to my thigh, a comforting feeling as I leave the dorm for the last time.

Another defining moment. May life offer me many more.


End file.
